When a relationship gradually suffocates the partners’ identity, the two can either find individual ways to survive or fight as a couple. Deciding what kind of betrayal is worse or whose fault is greater may not always be an option.
“The albatross still haunting her as she was heading home with her newly purchased purple notebook, she could no longer fight the fact that it was still too early. The time for her to forget and to give up on life hadn’t come yet. She was still young. There was still time. All was not lost, she was not lost…
There is no greater despair than to remember my first kiss… my first first kisses even… or the way first touches felt, once you allowed yourself to dare them. It’s only then that I understand I am dead. I walk to my mirror and I’m shocked it doesn’t reflect a corpse. Instead I see skin that is still tight, eyes glimmering with life, playful lips, a desirable body. If I am still that woman, then why… why be here, taking the same steps every day, going nowhere? What good is all of this if I am something… somebody… to all of them out there, “living” as I should, but I am nothing to myself? It’s one thing to be touched and feel nothing and it’s another to allow for that touch to repeat itself over and over and over again, mocking your lack of sensation… throwing its own satisfaction in your face, because you still know how to make your touches awaken feelings in them… And it’s still another to sit around and watch yourself suffocate and die when you know you can grant yourself some sort of salvation, some kind of escape.”
Albatross is now available on Amazon: