Much Needed Me-Days

Just put on that new pair of boots you so wanted, and get out! Go, take a walk… take some photos… feed the ducks… smell the falling leaves and let the cool autumn sun touch your skin. Just take a break! Just stop overthinking. Stop overanalysing. Stop obsessing. Just relax. Just be. Spend some time with you, on you. The world won’t fall apart if you do.

More often than not, that’s easier said than done. But the time comes when we have no choice but to find a way and “me-time” has to be a priority. As October arrived, not only could I finally do this, but I needed to. A break was necessary, a mental break… and a somewhat lazy month. I’d been planning on it for some time and the moment I could finally say “no” to everything that wasn’t an absolute must-do felt like I could eventually breathe again.

First there was the occasional day here and there, as other things needed to wind down. Then there was last week… well, the last ten days or so. Sometimes we need to just drop everything – or at least I do – put on a great new pair of boots and go for a walk in the middle of the day. Just stare at the ducks and swans on the lake as they all rush to shore, hoping for a treat… there’s something about seeing and feeding those adorable creatures which relaxes me.

We all have different ideas on what a me-day should look like. My own views have changed over the years and I’m sure they’ll keep changing. At this point, I just needed time; that was my main concern. Time to breathe. Time to empty my brain by binge-watching a silly old show or reading some guilty pleasure books. Time to finally write some blog posts again, put together something more than a Wordless Wednesday image. Time to digitize old printed photos. Time… sometimes you feel like you’re accomplishing nothing yet you’ve got less time than ever. Don’t we all love it when that happens…

Yes, it was time to seriously take time for myself. I realized it the moment I felt like throwing a freshly baked cake against the wall, simply because I had no more patience left to decorate it. I normally love to bake, I’m usually fairly good at it, yet that particular day I  messed up basic things I had never messed up before on a recipe I had made many times. And I also knew why that was happening. I didn’t feel like baking, even if I felt I had to. I was sabotaging a very simple task in a very obvious way because part of me was stamping her foot angrily, rebelling against all the countless endless tedious daily tasks which left me with no time to do what I actually wanted to do. Even those things I enjoyed had become a burden, I could no longer find any joy in them.

So this time it wasn’t just about some pampering and switching off my phone – or at least the data connection – for a while. It mostly came down to not doing a variety of things I didn’t feel like doing. Yes, there was some pampering; and there was definitely red wine. But basically every one of these me-days was centred on doing things that I’ve missed doing… and occasionally doing nothing at all. There were walks; there was hiking; there was reading in the middle of the day; and there has been a bit of blogging as well – managing to write a few posts and put together a short photo series is more than I’ve managed to do in months blogging-wise. Eventually there was joy in baking just for the sake of baking again. It’s strange what we can sometimes find relaxing – like decluttering kitchen cupboards or digitizing printed photos – but who cares, as long as these trivial actions help us slowly regain focus.

Stopping, taking a break, doing nothing is terribly difficult for many people, and I’ve been partly raised, partly born to be such a person. I may have learned the value of down time, I may have painfully understood that human beings should not go on without a break, believing that every action and every second of their lives should be directed towards some obvious tangible accomplishment, otherwise it’s time counterproductively used, time wasted. I no longer behave that way, but it’s something I have to focus on… and it’s something for which I still feel guilty occasionally, even if I know I shouldn’t. Thank you, Amy, for reminding us to take a closer look at our everyday routine and to share about it (Lens Artists Challenge – A Day of My Week).

While I am now easing into the usual pool of daily activities, come December I will once again slow down and enjoy the holidays and all the usual seasonal joys. That’s my tradition.