Constant Change… or Throwing Away Thackeray

Promises are made to be broken, they say. Well, this one certainly was. There I was, standing in front of my bookcase once more, trying to make room for my latest purchases.

Sigh… I promised myself not to do this anymore. Living in a small flat, being a person who hates clutter, I am painfully aware that if my shoes don’t kick me out to get more space for themselves, then my books just might. And I hate throwing away books… or shoes…

I’m aware of my limitations, so I know I am beyond redemption when it comes to shoes, Continue reading “Constant Change… or Throwing Away Thackeray”

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Parallel Lives – Sample Fragment 67

New sensations become obsolete, jaded experiences with a phenomenal speed when the people involved are endowed with intelligence, culture and freedom, and are deprived of most judgemental features inflicted by narrow-mindedness. Flames and thrills need to be constantly maintained and fed. But nature does provide the possibility of balance, Continue reading “Parallel Lives – Sample Fragment 67”

Open Window

“I wasn’t supposed to open the window, she told me… so I didn’t…”

I see the old lady hasn’t lost the ability to intimidate people, especially her daughter.

“If I absolutely had to have fresh air in my bedroom, she said, I was to open the bathroom window and leave the doors open.”

She was the reigning matriarch and no one was going to contradict any of her nonsense.

“Was the window broken or what? Did it not open?” I ventured curiously, not really understanding what and why was going on.

“I don’t know, I didn’t even try… Continue reading “Open Window”

Parallel Lives – Sample Fragment 66

She could see the fast burning flame about to disintegrate and take both of them down; and she wasn’t naive enough in order not to separate shallow infatuation and sexual ecstasy from real feelings. Robert was allowing himself to be carried away by this new, odd and exciting woman in his life, but Amalia knew better than to leave to chance even the most remote possibility for real feelings to spark. Continue reading “Parallel Lives – Sample Fragment 66”

Last Day of Summer

It’s not the last day of August. I’m not thinking of the autumnal equinox either. There’s this one day every autumn when I get the distinct feeling that’s the end of summer. Sometimes it sneaks up on me; other times it goes by unnoticed and later I regret it. But when I do notice it, I have my little ritual…

It’s often enough to look up from your computer, your desk or the countless other things that clutter your life, and you notice it… you feel it. Of course, checking that weather app on your phone to figure out for how long you can leave some flower pots outside might also prove helpful… That’s what reminded me that I could put off bringing in the plants, but I can’t “postpone” that final hot beautiful summer day of the year. So it was time for one more barefoot walk on the beach. Continue reading “Last Day of Summer”

Parallel Lives – Sample Fragment 65

Life provides us with certain summers that can be blissfully filled with freedom and peace, open space and open souls, antithetical experiences that mark our memories, in spite of their mundane, insignificant character. Those are the summers we long for and those are the scarce moments of a particularly brief time in one’s life, which cannot be allowed to slip through our fingers unnoticed. Continue reading “Parallel Lives – Sample Fragment 65”

Don’t Forget to Remember

There are times when life is simply too hectic and overwhelming to notice anything that goes on around you; then there are those sunny lazy autumn days, when sensory memory takes over, distant moments flashing through your mind….

“You know, I don’t remember much from back when I was her age… strange…”

The woman in front of me was going on and on about her 14 year old daughter and how she hoped the girl’s adolescence wouldn’t be too wild or troubled.

“Really? I remember everything like it was yesterday,” the words escaped my lips before I knew it. Continue reading “Don’t Forget to Remember”

Mother (Fragment 2)

It should have been a boy. A boy still had a chance. It only made sense to be that way. Her innocence robbed from her without warning, by a force bigger than her, while her kind, loving fiancé had no idea about what was happening, the shame of carrying a child out of wedlock… it simply had to be a boy.

But a girl… She held her daughter in her arms, overwhelmed by an unknown wonderful warmth, torn apart by feelings she didn’t know anyone could experience. Continue reading “Mother (Fragment 2)”

End of Summer Buh Humbug

Have you ever seen a car with wipers and wing mirrors scotch taped and thought, “It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy”? Let me be clear, said car didn’t suffer some mishap; someone was trying to make a point, in a rather humorous way.

I’m no advocate of vandalism, but this is what end of summer here will do to a person. In fact, I was so taken with that original non-destructive kind of punishment, that I immediately snapped a pic which I will gladly present if I happen by when someone else contemplates perpetrating a similar kind of offense.

I start my summers full of joie de vivre, optimism and insane thoughts of “It’ll be different this year”. Continue reading “End of Summer Buh Humbug”

Us (Fragment 2)

We were talking about pillows while he had me in his arms, in a tight embrace, skin on skin. It was summer, warm and terribly humid, and I understood he didn’t care for such heat. Yet he stubbornly refused to let me go.

He was telling me he also slept with lots of pillows at home. One of his hands was holding mine, while the other took hold of a pillow, placing it between the two of us, and he was laughing. He grabbed the pillow and squeezed it tightly against his chest, allowing me to try and break free for a second.

“This is how I sleep at home. But tonight, however, this is how I’m holding you.”

That was when I realized how lonely he was.

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and also on iBooks.

Everybody Jump (Part 7)

Sharing With A Friend

Part 1

Part 2 – I Think I Wore This Before

Part 3 – Dance Like No One’s Watching

Part 4 – I Must Be Getting Old, Because I Can Have Fun Sober

Part 5 – Thirty-Something Pockets

Part 6 – Everybody, Scream!

Right… so “I wore this before” and I’ve certainly listened to some of that music before. And the man who’s dancing with me on his shoulders now is none other than my oldest and closest friend, one of those people who have seen me wear this the first time, with whom I’ve listened to this music when it was brand new.

Knowing each other through all the stages of our life means we share a certain kind of complicity and unique connection. It also puts everything in a very special perspective. Continue reading “Everybody Jump (Part 7)”

Everybody Jump (Part 6)

Everybody, Scream!

Part 1

Part 2 – I Think I Wore This Before

Part 3 – Dance Like No One’s Watching

Part 4 – I Must Be Getting Old, Because I can Have Fun Sober

Part 5 – Thirty-Something Pockets

It’s fun, but I can’t help feeling a bit like Pavlov’s dog… one of the many Pavlov’s dogs there. But as far as crowds go, this one in this particular context is pretty harmless. It’s really not the time or the place to go into crowd psychology matters, is it?

Maybe they don’t even think about it, or maybe they have their own reasons… or maybe it all depends on the individual. I know I have my reasons for jumping when told to jump… Continue reading “Everybody Jump (Part 6)”

Everybody Jump (Part 5)

Thirty-Something Pockets

Part 1

Part 2 – I Think I Wore This Before

Part 3 – Dance Like No One’s Watching

Part 4 – I Must Be Getting Old, Because I Can Have Fun Sober

Don’t worry, I’m not about to start rambling about financial stability or anything like that. These are a different kind of pockets…

In case that wasn’t clear, a certain facetious little question did creep into my thoughts more than once: am I too old for this? Am I too old to wear this dress? Am I too old to go to this thing? Am I too old for this sort of fun? What gets to me most is not the question, but the fact that I let a certain kind of social pressure, a judgemental, narrow-minded attitude infiltrate my thoughts. Funny, I never really wondered, “Am I too young for this?”, no matter what age I was.

Continue reading “Everybody Jump (Part 5)”

Everybody Jump (Part 4)

Part 1

Part 2 – I Think I Wore This Before

Part 3 – Dance Like No One’s Watching

I Must Be Getting Old, Because I Can Have Fun Sober

Two words will say it all: designated driver. Let’s put it this way… when it comes to such events, our dear old taxi drivers turn from your everyday vultures into… jackals maybe? I think that’s appropriate enough, although I’m not such a connoisseur of wild life, so if a better comparison comes to mind, feel free to share it. But I can be an argumentative little beast myself. It’s not really about the money, but the principle involved. I live here, I know the town, I know the routes, I also know what the right price should be; and while I always tip the driver and I wouldn’t mind paying a little bit extra on that sort of occasion, I absolutely refuse to pay five times the real fare. I will certainly state my point of view to the driver… and I will inevitably be kicked out of the taxi, rude words will be exchanged, and that’s how one generally ends up having to walk home.

Continue reading “Everybody Jump (Part 4)”

Everybody Jump (Part 3)

Part 1

Part 2 – I Think I Wore This Before

Dance Like No One’s Watching

Yes, I definitely needed this, I realized as soon as I got over that slight annoyance of the security check. I love dancing. I always have, even if as a child my mother repeatedly told me I had no sense of rhythm. But once I overcame that childish insecurity, I simply couldn’t care less. I would never be a professional dancer, certainly no prima ballerina as my mother would have liked, but I reasoned my dancing skills were good enough for an average person. Besides, it was so much fun, empowering even. Now I would also say it’s a great workout, especially for someone like me, who hates working out.

I must have been 10 or 11 the first time I entered a club, and it was with my mother and her friends. Continue reading “Everybody Jump (Part 3)”

Everybody Jump (Part 2)

Part 1

I Think I Wore This Before

Looking around these days, I often feel either terribly nostalgic or ever so slightly exasperated with the repetition. I catch myself rolling my eyes; then I remember, this too shall pass. Yes, it’s a loaded fashion time for me, as I’m sure it is for many ladies of my generation.

Quite a few stores and display windows make me pause and think, I wore this before… or at least something very similar. But so many memories and considerations about the past caught up with me during the last year, so why wouldn’t fashion do the same?…

Continue reading “Everybody Jump (Part 2)”

Everybody Jump (Part 1)

No better time to venture outside one’s comfort zone than summer, I say.

In the spirit of the afore mentioned belief, I occasionally feel like getting out of the house without any makeup on or investing in an ugly pair of hiking boots and going to the mountains… or even like writing something slightly more personal and fun for my blog, to break the recent routine of wordless photography and book related stuff.

Continue reading “Everybody Jump (Part 1)”